Someday
by Spike is the BIG BAD
Summary: They can be thousands of miles away, but their love will still grow. can they ever be together. maybe someday. Rated T if you watched the show you can read this. Chapter 7 now up
1. In love and far away

Spike looked out over one of the many jungles of Africa. It had been almost three months since he started out on this quest for his soul. As Spike lost himself in thought he wasn't surprised that Buffy's was not the face he saw anymore. No it was his little mousy redhead that came to mind. When the dreams first started almost five months before, he was taken by surprise. He always liked Willow, hell he thought she was damn sexy the first time he saw her. There was always something about her that called to his inner William, and now mixed with some rather risqué dreams starring her, and what did ya get? A very confused vampire, that's what ya got. When he first went after his soul it had been an act confirming his deep love for Buffy. He so fiercely wished respect and a return of love from this absurdly sad young girl.

But what does he get? More preoccupied with his red headed witch! What a right ponce I am, he berated himself. God only knew how his inner poof would react when given the steering wheel once again. He was more confused every minute.

Why, he thought, why did he fall in love with a bloody slayer of all people, only to next fall for her best friend. Poof with a capital P! Then again, maybe someday he would end up with the comely witch. Yeah, someday, if he could suss out this soul search. He took a drag off his cigarette. This was going to be an interesting year.

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Willow stared up at the ceiling of Giles' guess bedroom. England wasn't so bad, and the Covent was a really good place to learn how to control magic. Now, if only her freaky dreams would cease, she could breathe easier. And those completely weird feelings for Spike that were increasing lately, what was up with that? There had been nights in the dark when sleep was elusive, when the images of the bad boy vampire had been pleasant to play with in her imagination. But he was as distant as the guy in the underwear ad, or the football captain from high school. Now, the images of Spike pressing against her, moving to bite her neck, they dominated her mind. It was no longer harmless fantasy. She felt tugged toward a place she never saw, pulled in a nonexistent direction.

It was a feeling that was alien, and therefore scarey.

She set her mind to solving the square root of 30 to eight decimals. The numbers tumbled in her brain, forming into a coherent line that comforted the young witch. Math was hard logic, something that centered her. Let's see, six ... yes, 6 point 079-

The numbers scattered and then resorned in a dense composite of a lean, high-cheekboned face, spiked bleached hair and a sardonic smile.

"Oh look," she said aloud, "it's Marilyn Monroe."

But it was not Marilyn's face, try as she might. Spike,s face filled her mind's eye. Willow leaned over and turned on the lamp, and still the vampire's face filled her vision. She pinched herself to make sure she was awake.

"Ouch," she muttered. She sighed and turned off the light. "Ouch."

In the dark she suddenly heard a scraping, as of someone walking across the floor.

"Wh-who's there," she squeaked. The hairs on her nape stiffened, and she sensed danger near.

"Quilla non paragona," she whispered, the spell to keep a bubble of safety around her bed. "Aceron clunis foetidis arieto, ab animus abluo abdico acetum." She felt better as she finished, but then something sunk onto the bed next to her.

"Some frickin' spell," she thought.

The lamp went on.

"Spike."

"'Ello Love."

He looked down at Willow with a mild expression.

"Wha-what are you doing here."

"You don't know?" His eyebrows rose in that jaunty quizzical look she remembered. "You did want me to come, eh?"

She felt flustered. Her face grew hot. "No, no no. You're not welcome here. I never invited you in."

He laughed. "But you did." He tapped his temple with a long forefinger. "Up here. Y' wanna admit it."

Willow remained frozen.

"I want you as much as you want me, my sweet little witch."

He leaned forward, his lips ready for a kiss. Willow started to close her eyes, but stopped. Wasn't this what she wanted? She found herself rising to meet his kiss, anticipating the softness of his mouth.

Spike pounced like lightning and his face was at Willow's neck. His teeth pierced into her and the Willow screamed as her blood spurted into the vampire's mouth.

Her eyes opened. It was morning, and the pain in her neck was a crick from sleeping wrong.  
>"Dream," she said. She realized her voice sounded disappointed.<p>

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	2. Broken and still far away

**Hey everyone, I hope you like the story so far. Please remember to be kind review ;) **

Spike dragged himself along the jungle floor. He felt the almost overwhelming initiative to remain there, to let the sun do its finishing touches on him. The return of his soul brought with it a despair he could hardly grasp in its immensity. If he could breathe he would be panting, in fact he was doing just that, no oxygen entering his dead lungs, but with the soul came a rush of long-forgotten patterns. The guilt was the worst.

The bloody thousands he had killed, the murders of the innocent over a hundred-fifty years' time, boiled in him, stung and seared him. He heard a ghastly shriek that rent the stultified air, and silenced the birds and beasts. He realized the voice was his own.

One image kept his arms clutching the loam, his knees pistoning under his body, contorted with physical agony. Three faces, all together, rotating behind his eyes. They beckoned him with lying, dying promises his own senses conjured in self-preservation. Had to see them again. Had to keep moving. More important than life itself, was to get to them before life was extinguished.

Blood spattered from him as he coughed. Turning his gaze agonizingly, he saw he was leaving a blood trail. He would have to feed soon, on something. The demon had certainly got the prescribed pound of flesh from him. Bloody nancy-boy demon. More images of his victims crashed Spike's consciousness, and he whimpered, pleading mercy to a God he had betrayed.

He went black. When he awoke, a long lizard of some type was lapping its tongue, sniffing him.

"Sod off,' Spike croaked. The lizard instead persisted. Spike shook his head to clear his vision. His hand shot out and snatched the lizard by the neck. As he bit into it, he spat a silent curse. Cold-blooded bastard. He liked his blood heated to a temperature of exactly ninety-eight point six fahrenheit. But ah well, beggars can't be choosy.

With a little fresh blood in him, Spike managed to gain his feet. He staggered to a tree and leaned wearily, scanning the sky. The stars had faded as the dawn encroached. He had maybe twenty minutes to get under cover.

"I'm a better man, now." Spike looked around for some other fauna to feed on, to ensure he had the energy to make the caves that had to be a mile away, at least.

Then the despair returned. He clutched his head with his arms. "Oh, God help me."

His legs churned under him, and he blindly hoped he was headed for the caves.

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Willow was dressed, wearing her usual style. Her yellow blouse was festooned with a large pair of red lips across the front. Her slacks were dark pink, and she wore the cheapest grocery store shoes, because darn it, she liked them.

But she took no pleasure in her sartorial eccentricity this morning. She was returning to Sunnydale.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Willow old girl," she chided her reflection in the vanity. "She picked up her suitcase and whistled a mournful tune, heading out with the image of Spike still in her mind.


	3. In love and not so far away

Spike looked into the night sky as he drove past the Sunnydale sign. He was finally back. His soul was a tribute to Buffy, but what of Willow? When his mind was not filled with hideous flashes of his demonic past, he found her entering his mind like a balm. Why her? He tried shaking his head to rid it of her face. He fished out a cig and lit it from the dashboard lighter. He rehearsed his reunion with Buffy. Saw himself entering her embrace, moving to kiss her. Willow's face. Damn! Willow, Willow. He said her name aloud and it seemed to echo through the interior of his car.

Willow had Tara. That was that, wasn't it? He imagined killing Tara and stuffing her bloodless body into a crypt. No. That's not me anymore, he thought.

Willow's baby-thin red hair, fragrant and flowing onto her shoulders, the way she pursed her lips, and the sparkle of her eyes, all filled him with longing. He almost ignored the red light he roared up to, but slammed on the brakes and laid some runner.

He squinted through one of the chinks in the paint on his windshield. A redhaired woman walked haltingly along in the dark, carryin a large suitcase. She was leery of his growling Dodge Desoto. As she crossed the span of his headlights, Spike did a double-take.

The redhead was Willow.

"Oh, sod-" He mashed his cigarette into the ashtray and popped open his door. He stopped himself and pulled it closed again. He cursed as he found himself ducking down, afraid to be seen. After a minute he raised his head and saw the light was green.

He sat there at the green light, not knowing what to do.

Someone knocked on his opaque driver side window. He rolled it down a few inches. It was Willow.

"Spike, what are you doing back in Sunnydale?"

Spike wordlessly opened his door and got out. Willow backed away nervously. "I mean, I just ... I thought you had moved.

Spike took slow steps toward her.

Willow swallowed. She stepped backward as Spike advanced, eyes fixed on his emotionless face.

He snatched at her arms. She felt his iron fingers lock onto them. She gave a little jump and dropped her suitcase. She looked fearfully into Spike's face, speechless. He just looked at her, silently. She wondered if he were deciding whether to killer her or just bite her.

Something primal took over. She broke his grip and grabbed the sides of his face. She hopped up on her toes and kissed him. And Spike kissed back. It was a if a dam broke in each of them, a flood of freelings passing between them as they moved their lips together. His hands were on her shoulders, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was dizzy, as from a drug. He lost himself in the velvet touch of her, in her fiery lips and tongue. She moaned, and he heard himself moan in return. Time stopped, breathing halted, and there was nothing in the world except Willow, lovely fragrant and soft Willow. And for her, all was nothing if not Spike-he was now her universe. She knew it suddenly, and surely, that he was all she wanted, all she needed.


	4. Catching up and moving on

Spike paced Willow's apartment. Unwanted thoughts buffeted his brain, thoughts of the Slayer. He shook them off. Willow's walls were almost devoid of any art or displays. It was a sharp difference from her colorful rooms he had seen in other places.

The sound of the shower assured him of secrecy as he snooped in her drawers and cabinets. There was no trace of any magic herbs or potions or even books on spells. Odd thing for a witch. It settled a suspicion that was niggling his brain for a while, about whether Willow might be putting a love whammie on him.

The water shut off. He went into her bedroom. She definitely lived alone, he mused, surveying the single bed with its silky black bedspread. Spike ran a hand along its softness. There were a sparse two DVDs next to the telly. The carpet was blood red, and it made Spike hungry. He dismissed the thought that followed and went out to the kitchen.

He opened the fridge. there were some eggs, a piece of gnarly pizza, unwrapped on a paper plate. A few apples lay lonely on the bottom shelf, but there was a full loaf of bread. He shut the fridge and noticed the laptop set on the desk. That was one of those new-fangled computers. New-_fang_led. Spike rolled the word around on his tongue. _I'm new-fangled, _he thought.

Willow exited the bathroom in her robe, a towel twisted on her head. Suddenly Spike was very aware of the fact that she was naked under her robe.

"I was in Africa," he said quickly, looking away. "Through the desert veldt-that's a grotty job for a vampire, you know. And into the deepest jungle too. I think your young lot call them rain forest, yes?

"Anyway, I was there to get back my soul, of you can believe that." He fidgeted, his eyes shooting to Willow then away. "So it's back, huh. Me own bloody stained soul, such as it is. I don't know why I mention it, I guess I'm just playing catch-up, y'know?"

Willow's face held a soft expression. "I'm going to change, get into my jammies."

"I'll help," Spike said breezily. He followed her to her room, but felt her protest. "I'll relax over here." He fell onto the bed, facing away. "No worry, I won't peak."

Willow uncertainly opened her bureau and pulled out her sleeping clothes.

"Tell me Spike," she said, dropping the towel and hoping he would not look, "how is it having your soul back?"

"Feels like sunlight on me. Horrible, love. I can't even think about it."

Willow tied the strings on her pajama pants. "I-I'm sorry you had to go through that, but ... it's a good thing. Right?"

Spike sat up. "There was a demon, a super-demon more like. Told me if I made it through some impossible challenges he would give me anything I want. So I got my old soul back, only slightly used.

Willow sat on the bed next to him. "Angel seems so tortured, I mean he's brooding all the time. It seems like getting your soul back is a lot of pain. You know what Angel went through now, don't you?"

Spike snorted. "I went through worse. That ponce had 'is soul handed to 'im. I had to go through seven layers of 'ell. It hurts more than you can ever imagine, and a lot more than Angel will ever know. Angel wouldn't ever have made it through what I went through. No chance.

"But forget that, for now. What've _you _been up to while I've been gone?"

Willow shrugged. "I wouldn't know where to start."

She fought back tears. No, maybe she knew where to start. "Warren shot Tara. He killed her."

Spike's eyes tightened. "Oh no, I'm sorry Willow. Where is he, you know? I can take care of that wanker."

"Oh. He's dead," Willow said quickly. "Dead and gone. He shot Buffy too."

"When? Is she all right?"

Willow felt a prickle of jealously. "She's fine, it was just her shoulder."

Spike stood. "I leave for a while and things go all askew, don't they? Good thing I'm back now."

Willow fell silent.

Spike sat again. "You killed 'im, didn't you? You killed Warren, and now you're off the magic."

She fell into his embrace, crying. Spike patted her shoulders, torn between this and going off to see Buffy. He stroked Willow's hair, and decided he would stay.


	5. Passion and guilt

Spike had been awake for an hour but he would not have moved for all the blood in Oprah. Willow's face held a contented peace, lying there on his arm. He brushed her lips softly with his, and wondered why The Powers That Be would grant him this moment. He drew a lazy pattern on Willow's arm, wondering what had prevented him from seeing her beauty in the past. He could smell the sweetness of her skin, and it made him smile.

Who was that dog boy - oh yes, Oz. Well, he was an awfully dim wanker to pass her up. Probably out there in the wilderness now, getting his jollies by sniffing wolves' butts.

Willow's eyes fluttered open slowly, dreamily. He bent his head to kiss her hand. "Hi."

Willow grinned, "Hi." Then she covered her mouth. "I-I should go and, um, brush my teeth."

"Are you hungry? I make a pretty decent omelet, and don't even get me started on my bowls of cereal." To Spike's satisfaction Willow giggled.

"Okay, breakfast sounds good. Do you know what time it is?"

Spike pointed to the clock on her nightstand. "'Bout ten in the morning. So what'dya say, omelet or cereal?"

"Hmm, it would be pretty funny to see you in an apron."

"Okay Luv, one goofy looking vampire on the way." With that Spike was up and to the kitchen. Willow watched him go. She vaguely wondered when the light feeling would be pushed away by inevitable regret and guilt.

She rolled out of bed and changed out of her jammies, donning jeans and a red, off-the-shoulder blouse with a picture of a moose and an oversize duck she had ironed on herself. They were fading a little from repeated washings. She surveyed herself in the mirror, and smirked. No good. She exchanged the blouse for an identical purple one, but without the iron-on fauna. She went to the kitchen and burst out laughing. True to his word, Spike wore her little pink apron as he cooked at the stove. He hummed _Whistle While You Work_ and bobbed his head from side to side.

He looked up from the sizzling eggs. "Oi, you're the one who wanted the bleedin' apron. I'd let the grease pop all over me, but what th' 'ell."

"Okay, I'm sorry? But really, _Whistle While You Work_? Have you ever actually watched _Snow White?" _

"Me? I'm an old movie buff from way back. I was there when flicks were just a few minutes long, just little scenes we were all amazed to see in lights on the wall. _Snow White and the Seven Dwarves _was the first full-length animated movie, y'know. A milestone in cinematic history. I could write books on cinema."

Willow pulled herself onto a chair at the the breakfast bar. "What kind of omelet are you making?"

Spike spatulaed the omelet onto two plates and set them on the bar. "Figure you just have ta find out yourself. But don't worry, I've been around awhile. I know just what a lady likes." He winked at her and pulled out the carton of O.J. As he poured Willow blew on a forkful of omelet and toothed it in. "Mm, good."

"See? Toldja. People always doubt my culinary genius."

"Well Spike, I'm guessing it's because vampires don't eat."

"I'm most definitely not like most vampires."

Willow smiled. "I get that." She shoveled in more omelet. Spike put his fork to work, and they ate in compatible silence.

Later, after Spike had obligingly washed and put away everything, he asked Willow her plans for the day.

Willow dropped onto the love seat and stretched. "Nothing. I'm not going to do anything but reacclimate to home today."

She hesitated for a moment and then, "I'm all yours."

Spike cocked his head to the side and gave his patented tongue curled smirk. "Really pet, you're not just teasing now, are ya? Cuz I can think of a few games to play with my new toy."

Willow's face flushed almost as red as her hair. "Spike, I'm no toy."

Spike's smirk segued to an annoyed pout. "Not fair Luv. You laid on my arm all night long, remeber? We cuddled all the night through, so there's no need to play all coy with me. You have feelings for me too. I dunno why you wanna try crushin' me now, unless the eggs are upsetting your tum."

Willow leapt up and planted a kiss on Spike's pout. He stood immobile, face locked in resentment. She chuckled and he broke, grinning. Then his expression turned serious. Putting his hands on her face, he pulled her into a deep kiss and Willow responded, melting. Spike's hands dropped to her body, but Willow made no move to halt their trajectory. She put her arms around Spike's lean body and hugged herself into him.

There was a loud knocking at the door.

"Aw bugger that," Spike breathed, and continued kissing. He stopped Willow as she began to turn and pulled her back roughly. "Ignore it."

Willow started to protest, but then Spike's mouth was at her neck. She felt a chill run up her spine, and a tickling fear as the vampire nipped her. It was like her dreams, and she half-expected the acid sting of his bite to tear her skin any second. She moaned ecstatically and surrendered to the waves of sensation, feeling as though she was falling bodily, falling down the rabbit-hole.

A key clicked into the lock and the door swung open. Buffy stormed in. She stopped dead, the bag in one hand, and Willow's spare key in the other, then slackly dropped them to the carpet.

"Willow," Buffy intoned, "What-are-you-doing?"

She took a step forward, and her face contorted into a frightening scowl. "What the f-k! are you doing!"

Spike stepped back. "Buffy-"

"Shuddup!" she screamed, and flew forward, kicking Spike in the chest. He flew back and hit Willow's desk with a resounding crash. The computer flipped onto the floor.

"Buffy no-" Willow started, and Buffy snapped a cautioning finger up in front front of her face.

"Say nothing!" she hissed.


	6. Recrimination

Willow's jaw muscles flexed, her teeth grating.

Spike picked up her computer and set it back on the desk. His eyes flitted toward Buffy, whose breast rose and fell as she huffed through flared nostrils. He shrugged. "I feel naked without my jacket, Slayer. Think I can get it back?"

Buffy nodded. "Been feeling naked a lot lately? How about you, Willow?"

Willow swallowed hard, then let her words spill rapidly. "Spike and I have been spending time together, and - and - and we like each other. I've been lonely and he's been great. He's like, the only one of the old gang who treats me like I'm just the old Willow, you know, and I don't see why you're all upset over it."

Spike moved to stand next to Willow. "It's not like you and I had anything going on, based on our parting words. Why are you givin' us the hairy eyeball anyway?"

"Spike. I don't want you messing with my friends to try to get to me."

Spike opened his mouth in protest but Willow replied quicker. "Buffy, I don't believe you. You don't want anything to do with Spike, but I like him. He's special, and if you don't see that, that's your loss. And who are you to dictate my private life?"

"Willow-"

"Arrogant, Buffy." Spike interrupted. "You think I'm here to maneuver into your life? It so happens I've fallen for your friend. You should be happy for me, and relieved I won't be trying to penetrate your bloody armor anymore."

Willow touched her friend's shoulder. "Buff, I don't mean to hurt you."

Buffy snorted and knocked her hand away.

"Hurt? Don't make me laugh. You want this peroxide-headed fop? Go ahead, I just thought you had better sense than that."

Spike laughed. "Sure, like you had better sense? We've done it in the alley, The Bronze, my crypt. Who're you trying to fool, you sodding bint."

Buffy threw a round kick at Spike's head but he ducked. He jumped forward and bear-hugged her, locking her arms to her side.

"You've trashed my girl's flat quite enough. You want to fight, let's take it outside."

Willow tried to intervene.

"Back off," Buffy spat. "Spike, let go of me or I'll stake you now."

"You gonna behave?"

With a surge of force she threw Spike off her, and her elbow errantly whacked Willow in the eye. Willow recoiled in pain and surprise.

"Aw hell!" Spike punched Buffy in the face and followed up with a side piercing kick to her ribcage, which sent her sprawling to the floor.

Willow exploded. "Spike you jerk!" She swung her arms at him and he threw up his hands in defense.

"'Ey now, I'm defending you."

Buffy arched her back and threw herself vertical. "Back off, Will. I'll take him outside."

Willow turned on her. "And do what, sweep up his ashes? Just leave Buffy, please."

"That's right, Slayer, hit the bricks."

"You shut up Spike," Willow flung at him. "You leave too."

"Me? What'd I do?"

"How dare you beat on my friend."

Buffy headed for the door. "Don't worry Willow. He didn't hurt any friend of yours."

Willow swung on her. "Then get the hell out. I don't need this crap in my life."

"Of course not. You already have a big enough load of crap."

Buffy was gone.

"You didn't mean-"

"Yes I did, Spike. It's daylight I know. Take a blanket, and I want you to go. Now."

Spike's mouth opened and closed. Speechless, he susurrated some oaths and stomped to the bedroom. Pulling the bedspread off, he grumbled in exasperation, slamming the door as he left.

With only a small loop in the blanket over his head to see through, he ran down the balcony and headed for his car. Smoke began to steam from his stressed body, and the familiar pain of sun exposure contorted his features in pain.

He saw Buffy down the street. She turned to look at him as he threw himself into the protection of his Desoto. He flipped her off when he gunned past her, first with the English, two-fingered version, then the American one-finger brand to make sure she understood.

Buffy snatched a stone from the gutter and threw it. It slammed against Spike's rear window, leaving a web of cracks.

"Let me get this straight," William the Bloody, scourge of Europe said to himself. "I have two birds taken with me, can't get enough, and then they both hate me and tell me to piss off.

"Bugger those women," he seethed. "Bugger all women, everywhere. Bugger women!"

He squinted through the painted windshield, heading to Remsfield Cemetery.

"Bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger!"


	7. Make ups and brush offs

Willow walked into The Magic Box in search of some comfort. "Hey guys what's-"

Willow saw Xander close to tears. "What's wrong?"

Xander rushed to Willow's side and enveloped her into a bear hug. "Wills it's Buffy, she was kidnapped by some creepy looking guys with no eyes."

Willow gasped. "What! What do we know about them? What are they? How the hell do we find and slay their butts?"

Dawn came down the latter some heavy books in hand. "We don't know anything yet. Willow I'm afraid if we don't go find her soon it may be too late."

Without another word Willow turned and left.

Spike paced his Crypt, waiting for the sun to set, he needed to kill something. "Bloody women always bloody were breaking my bleedin' heart from way back when. I really should just give up all women, their nothin' but trou—"

Spike was interrupted when his crypt door flew open.

Who the bleedin' hell- Oh Red it's you. What the buggerin' 'ell do you want?"

Willow's heart sunk at his harsh attitude. "Spike- Okay Spike I'm sorry I was so upset before but- but I need your help."

Spike looked incredulously at her. "You bloody well want WHAT! You think you can say what you said after what we did and I'll just bounce right back to your side? Well you've got another thing comin' missy. I-"

Willow yelled. "SHUT UP! Listen I know what I hurt your feelings, but hell I just seem to screw everything up don't I? This isn't about me any way; this is about Buffy- she's missing."

Spike was in front of her in a heartbeat. He grabbed her arms.

"What do you mean missing? What, is it one minute she was there the next she's not, or is it you and Chubs went looking for her and couldn't find her."

Willow pushed Spike off her. "She was kidnapped by some guys without eyes or so I'm told."

Spike huffed and turned his back to Willow. "I'm guessing you and your lot either can't find her or you can't save her, Right?"

Willow sighed tears gathered in her eyes. "Yes Spike, we don't have a f#king clue where the hell she is and even though I'm pissed at her I still care about her an—and I need you help to save her."

Willow looked up at him with tears pouring down her cheeks.

Spike took in her sad and bewildered appearance all anger instantly left his body. His shoulders slumped as he sighed and looked her in the eyes.

"Fine I'll help you. Ya know it should be bloody illegal for women- more specifically YOU- to cry. It's amazing what you could make a man do."

Willow smiled slightly. "Huh, now if only you could convince every other guy."

Spike scowled. "I won't be takin' anybody puttin' you down… That includes YOU.

Spike followed his nose to the newly rebuilt high-school.

"Okay Red she's in here so you the Calvary and I'll wait he- she's bleeding. I'm going in, go get the others hurry,"

Spike ran into the building without another word.

Spike slowly stalked trough the basement as he followed Buffy's scent. He silently slid open a metal door. The sight before Spike was enough to make his heart clench in fear. Buffy was strapped to a circular wooden board with some creepy guy about to cut her bare stomach. Without a thought Spike charged the one with the knife knocking him down.

Buffy was able to get one of her hands free as Spike used a backwards spin-kick on another bringer. Buffy quickly undid her other restraints and punched one bringer and butterfly kicked another. She spun around to see Spike take out the last bringer.

"Spike you- you saved me."

Spike shrugged, "Yeah well it's not like it's the first time or-"

Spike was cut off as Buffy's lips captured his. Spike melted into her surprised by the gentle passion she was displaying towards him.

"Spike everyone's- Oh- Oh God no I- no."

Spike swiveled around and saw Willow turn around and run out with tears pooling in her eyes just as the others came running in.

Spike took off after Willow. "Wait. Damn it Willow wait one bleedin' minute."

Willow spun around tears burned in her eye and anger came off her in waves. "Oh I'm sorry did my heart breaking interrupt your make-out session. You know I thought you were different but I guess I was wrong."

Spike roared in frustration. "What's wrong with you BLOODY women! One minute your _both_ yellin' and hittin' me and couldn't care less if I took a nice little stroll in the sun light. And _now_ you're pinin' after me makin' me feel like a total ass for not know which ways up. I swear if my soul doesn't kill me you two will!"

Willow's face softened but she cried harder than ever. Spike stood his ground for about two seconds before breaking down and scooping Willow up into his comforting arms.

"Shh come on Red I'm sorry I didn't mean it. Please don't cry I'm an ass that's all. I didn't mean to hurt your feelin's please please stop cryin'."

Willow cried into Spike chest for few minutes longer but was able to stop herself through his soothing words. She looked up at Spike and hugged him tightly for fear of him disappearing.

"Spike I'm just—I thought I lost you and— and I was so mean to you and I thought you just didn't—I guess I figured you didn't want to bother with someone so stupid and mean as me."

Spike raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "You're kiddin' me right? Have seen the bints I've been with? First off, the very first woman I loved hated me. Then of course there's Dru, I was only her play thing to past the time when her 'daddy' couldn't be there. And Buffy, well I think you got a little snip-it today of how much I mean to her. And _don't_ mean that kiss."

Willow sighed and loosened her grip just enough to look into his brilliant blue eyes.

"So pretty much you mean as much of a jerk as I was I'm still better than all the other girls you've been with? You do know that doesn't speak well of your choice in women don't you?"

Spike chuckled and hugged Willow tightly to his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"Yes Luv, I'm quite aware of my past blunders. Guess I'm lucky I finally found someone like you."

Willow rested her head in the crook of his neck sighing in contentment. Their moment was ruined as the others came walking out.

Xander's face flushed red in anger. "You've gotta be frigging kidding me! What the hell are you doing with him Willow?"

Willow yelped in surprise. it seemed a lot of people were asking that question today.


	8. Doubts and trust

Willow moved towards Xander. "Xan I can explain. You see I-"

Willow was interrupted by Xander. "No need Willow, obviously your under a weird spell. Possible an 'I Will it be' or 'Love' spell. Maybe fang face put it on you."

Willow growled. "No Xander it wasn't a spell. Xan I gotta tell you something, me- I- Urrr, this isn't going the way I want it to. Listen, I love Spike Okay. I- Love- Spike. Huh, that wasn't so hard."

Willow quickly changed her mind on that when she saw Xander's eyes darkened and his hand tightened on his battle ax.

"I repeat, you must be under a spell. Hey I bet if kill Spike it'll end."

Xander took a menacing step towards Spike. "What do you think, Willy?"

Willow saw Spike fighting with his inner demon, and decided to step in. "Alexander Harris don't you take another step. I am not under a spell and if you lay a finger on Spike I'll consider braking out the magic books just for you. And don't blame me if I go all veiny on you and try to end the world."

Willow's combination of his real name and her 'resolve' face broke him.

Xander slumped his shoulders, "Wills are you crazy, you _do_ know what he did to Buffy don't you?"

Willow sighed and hugged Xander. "Did I ever tell you it's nice to have you play big brother for me?"

Willow smiled as she took a step back. "I know what he did, but- but he's different now. Spike would never hurt me, he has- he has something now that he didn't then."

Xander's confusion was clear through the dumbest look Willow had ever seen on his face. -Which was saying a lot-.

Xander ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay I give, what does he have now that he didn't have then?"

Willow shook her head. "It's not my place to tell you that. You wanna know you ask Spike himself."

"Fine, Spike what do you have now that you didn't have then? A beating heart, breath mints, 'Ex-lax', what "

Spike pushed the heel of his hands into his eyes before answering through gridded teeth. "While I was gone the few months I went to this demon chap who grants wishes."

Xander interrupted him. "Like a genie?"

"No, not like a genie. Do you want me to tell you or not?"

Xander nodded but didn't look to happy about being yelled at.

"Good than if you'll kindly shut up I'll finish. So anyway the git will grant ya a wish if you can survive the trials. The short skinny of it is I won back my soul."

All the Scooby's except for Willow gasped.

Buffy looked at Spike in awe as she walked up to him. "You mean you had the chance to take out your Chip, but you decided to get a soul all on your free will?"

Xander burst out in laughter. "You gotta be kidding me. Captain peroxide says he has a soul and you all fall for it?"

Willow scowled and put her hand on her hips. "And why shouldn't we- I mean why shouldn't we believe him not why shouldn't we fall for it- not that there's anything to fall for cause there isn't- I mean he's telling the truth."

Xander looked at willow in amusement knowing he was about to make her babble again.

"Okay if it's true I'll give you two crazy kids my blessing. All I need is some proof."

Willow frowned "Well there's the- no that doesn't work but there's always- no not that either but of course there's- oh darn not that."

Willow turned to Spike "DO you have any proof?"

"Oh great now _you _don't believe me? I expected the Whelp not to believe but you?" Spike's face hardened "No. Sorry I didn't get a receipt saying 'I gave you one soul' but I was in a bit of a rush to pass out."

Willow looked apologetically at Spike for doubting him but before she could apologize she was cut off.

"I believe you Spike." Buffy said putting her hand on his chest.

Spike looked down at Buffy in wonder. "Really, you mean it, you really believe me?"

Buffy smiled. "Yes Spike, I believe you. I trust you."

Spike was over whelmed when Buffy kissed him softly and sweetly on the lips.\

Willow's eye's turned black and she started to levitate. "Get your hands off him you bitch."


	9. Two to seal a kiss

Buffy stumbled back a step, her breath catching in her throat. Willow's eyes and hair turned black before her eyes.

"Willow - don't ..."

Spike stepped in front of her. He held up his palms placatingly.

"Now listen, Red, I know you don't want to harm anyone. Let's turn back to your usual color, then. We can work this out."

Willow's teeth clenched. "Buffy's big protector, eh? You can't hurt me, vampire. You're neutered, so step aside. Right. Now."

She pushed at his shoulder but Spike stood his ground.

"Brain chip or not, you try to hurt Buffy, I'll demolish you."

"You're the one who started this." The black in Willow's eyes faded to a fiery green. Her hair lightened, and tears spilled out onto her cheeks. "If you love her, why ... ?" she turned away, covering her face.

Spike understood the question, but he had no answer. Willow took off running across the grass.

Buffy touched Spike's shoulder. "She's gonna have to get over it, that's all."

He didn't answer, but watched Willow run across the street and down the block. He turned to Buffy.

"Buffy."

She looked back at him, reading his eyes. Her features tightened, and she slowly nodded. Her eyes were dagger tips.

"Sorry," Spike said, and ran.

Willow sprinted to the park and past the playground. She got to the pond and collapsed at the bridge, holding on to the wooden railing. She quaked with misery, squeezing her fists so tightly her nails dug into her palms.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up at Spike.

"Get away from me, go be with your precious Buffy."

He sighed and sat cross-legged next to her. "You can hate me. I not only understand if you do, I approve. I'd hate you under the same bloody circumstances."

She stood up but didn't look at him, her eyes fixed on the ducks paddling around the pond.

"I can try to explain. So you'd know, at least."

Willow took a deep breath. "Explain what? Y-you can't explain love. You can't explain why you went out and made me fall for you, just so you could - could-" her voice caught.

Spike got up and touched her back. "I love you."

"No. You betrayed - you set out to hurt me, a-and you did. Mission accomplished."

"I never did that. I didn't want -"

"Didn't want to hurt me, huh?" She faced him, grimacing, trembling with anguish. "Explain why you _love_ me but're _with her_! Why you're dumping me for her. Why I'm second to her."

Spike's facial muscles twitched, and in frustration he bit the inside of his cheeks. Blood oozed onto his tongue.

"I didn't kiss her."

"What?" Willow snapped.

"I didn't kiss her, she kissed me. I wasn't dumping you, and I didn't want to kiss Buffy. It just happened, and you're going to have to accept it and forgive me, or our relationship will get very rocky."

Willow crossed her arms over her chest, "Didn't mean to kiss her? It sure looked like your tongue meant it. It takes two sets of lips to seal a kiss, you know."

Spike bit his tongue for some variety. Bollocks to women, he thought. Is all this boggle even worth it?

"You're right," he said. "But if you want to throw away what we have on a simple little kiss, how much do you really feel for me?"

Willow's lips curled. "You idiot!" she punched his chest. "You ... idiot!" she slapped his cheek.

"Yes," he responded, unflinching. "I am an idiot, but _I'm _not enough of one to throw us away."

Willow dropped her fists. She turned back to the ducks, watching them dip for bugs, or whatever.

Spike nudged her shoulder with his. "You fickle? Maybe sick of me?"

Willow nodded and regarded him sardonically. "Yeah."

"You're throwing me back?"

She suppressed a smile. "Yeah."

"Okay. I know when I'm dumped. I'm moving on then."

He walked off the bridge. Willow frowned after him puzzledly.

He wheeled around. "Right, then. Hi Willow, been a long time. What've you been up to since we broke up, found a guy yet?"

She let out her breath, but turned her back to him. "Lot's of 'em. I use them for their bodies, and leave them with broken hearts."

He leaned on the railing with her. "Oh? I haven't seen anyone meself. You've ruined me for other women."

Willow shook her head. A duck gobbled at the back of another duck, as though seeking a bug. Maybe he was grooming his mate, or something. The one getting her back gobbled on turned and locked necks with the gobbler. They looked like they were hugging.

"Forgive me?" Spike said softly.

"Yes, you dope, I forgive you."

Spike opened his arms and Willow went into them. Spike cradled her and stroked her hair.

"I'm not usually such a softy, you should know that."

Spike squeezed her. "I'll operate on that advisement. Can I kiss you?"

Willow turned her face up to his.

Spike pressed his lips to Willow's, and they shared a long, deep kiss, mingling tongues, teasing and biting gently. Willow's body tingled and felt weightless. For a moment she floated up to the sky, and the wind blew warm and cool through her, and she was part of the sky. Slowly, they parted lips and she came back to earth.

Her legs were weak, and she was glad to have Spike supporting her.

They both watched the ducks swim around for a while, then climb up the bank and waddle away together.

They kissed again, and Willow bit Spike's lip.

"Grr,' she said.

"I have a real cool pad," Spike murmured. "It's got a bitchin' view of the graveyard."

"You're charming the pants off me," Willow replied.

"Cor, not yet," Spike gibed, pulling her along. "Let's get there first."

S&W*S&W*S&W*S&W*S&W*

Xander gritted his teeth, clutching the battle ax with white knuckles.

He shoved open Spike's crypt.

Empty. He walked to the trapdoor and pulled the handle. It was locked. He pulled with all he had, but it wouldn't budge.

Good thing I have my skeleton key, he thought. The axe bit deep, and he swung it a few more times until the wood around the latch was splintered. He toed the demolished door open and peered into the darkness below.

the heft of the axe reassured him, and he started down the ladder. At the bottom he strained his eyes into Stygian blackness, cursing his lack of a flashlight.

"Hellooo, bastard," he called into the gloom. "Come out come out, fight like a man. Don't hide like a little rat." He edged forward uncertainly, hoping that none of Spike's vampire friends would be there waiting.

"Where are you, you butthead. Face me!" He swung the axe through the air before him, touching nothing. The small hairs on the back of his neck suddenly raised and a chill went up his spine. He chalked it up to Spidey sense and backed up.

A pair of steel hands locked around his wrists, pulling his arms away from his body. He yelped and dropped the axe.

Spike said, "Might want to be careful where you go swingin' that. Butthead."

"Lemme go," Xander quavered. He tried to yank away, but Spike's grip was unbelievably strong.

Willow turned on the light. Xander blinked at the sudden glare, then focused on Willow. She sat on Spike's bed holding the sheet over her chest.

"God, Willow!" Xander exclaimed. He sagged, and Spike released him.

Xander's voice was dry and accusing. "What are you doing here, Wil?"

Willow looked down at herself, then back at Xander. "Isn't it obvious? I'm crocheting a hat."

"I can't believe this."

Willow picked up a black tee shirt and put it on under the covers. Xander turned and gaped at Spike, who wore only his black jeans. Spike made a face at him and went to the bed, plopping down next to Willow.

"What _I_ can't believe," Willow said, "is that you came down here in the dark with an axe, just to kill my boyfriend. I think that's so sweet."

Spike gave her a look.

"Boyfriend, Wil? This is crazy. You're just trying to follow in Buffy's shoes, right? You can't be interested in him."

He stepped toward her. "Wil, you're gay."

Spike jumped to his feet. "Right, that'll be enough from you, little whelp." He stuck a finger on Xander's chest. "You have an unhealthy interest in your friend's love life. Maybe you need to back off a little."

Xander slapped his hand away. "Watch it, Eddie Munster, remember your chip."

Willow barked, "Xander!"

He slumped down on the edge of the bed. "You're right, I'm out of line here. But Willow ... Spike?"

Spike said, "Ya'know what's best for a well-meaning Burk in your situation?"

"What would that be, and ... what's a Burk?"

"A little bit of time and separation. Let Willow have her space for a while. Since Sunnydale is so small, I'll just have Willow as my guest for a couple of weeks, how's that then?"

Xander's eye twitched. "Are you serious?"

"Naw, we're not staying here all the time," Willow said. "We'll use my apartment, too."

Xander blinked slowly. "Wil, you know I trust your judgment, but ... you're out of your mind. You really think you can trust sheephead here?"

Spike felt his hair. Willow said, "I trust him, yeah. Xander. If you don't, then just trust me."

"But Willow, he's - well I don't have to tell you what he is. Remember when Angel got evil, how do you know that won't happen again?"

"He's no Angel, Xander."

Spike grinned. "That's what they say."

"I'm willing to take the chance. Xander, for the first time, I'm really in love."

Xander's mouth hung open. He tried to say something, and the effort caused pain. He smacked his fist into his palm.

"Now, nancy," Spike cautioned, "keep the punches to yourself."

"I'll leave,' Xander finally blurted. "Okay. I'm gone." He looked around for his axe. Spike flipped a hand at it, leaning against the wall. Xander picked it up and put it over his shoulder. "I'm here for you, Wil." He turned to Spike, and his expression was grim.

"Hurt her, and I'll be back with my axe. I won't hesitate to chop you into bitesized chunks of bleach."

Spike nodded gravely.

"See ya," Xander told Willow. I'm A.F.A., remember?"

She nodded. "A.F.A. Me too, Xan."

Xander to the ladder and climbed it, whistling a sad tune. When he got the top he called, "Hey Spike. I'll treat you to a stake one of these days."

"That pun doesn't work, Xander," Spike called back. "You should've reminded me of 'what's at stake' or something like that."

"Dammit."

Spike turned to Willow. "What's an A.F.A?"

Willow pulled the covers back for Spike to join her. "A friend always. It's our code."

"Adorable," Spike said, climbing in next to her.

"Less talky, more kissy." They meshed in a kiss. Spike pulled back after a minute.

"You gonna stay with me?"

"Till the day I die." Willow said.

"Deal. Me, too."

Willow rolled her eyes. "That could be any minute."

"No." Spike was serious. "I claim you, you see."

"Sure. I claim you, too."

Spike sighed. "It's a vampire tradition, miss student of mythology. I claim you as my own, then if you agree, you claim me. We'll be together forever."

Willow hiked to a sitting position. "Serious?"

Spike nodded. "Of course."  
>"That's not very romantic. You're proposing marriage, and there's no dinner, no hidden ring. Y-you don't get down on one knee and tell me you can't live without me. You know, a proposal."<p>

He brushed his hands along Willow's arms. "I'm sorry it's so sudden luv, but I want you."

"Spike, you're a vampire. I'll be some ancient old bag, and you'll be like, this hot young stud. Why don't we just take this slowly?"

"Spike put his arm around Willow's shoulders and met her eyes. "A claim connects us. First, I bite you. Not much, not so's it hurts too much. Then I say you're mine and you agree. Then you bite me, again not too hard. Enough to draw a little bit of blood. Then our bond is set. Can't be broken, not even by Father Time."

Willow's face registered confusion. "Does that mean ...?"  
>"Together 'til the end. You'll live as long as I do. I'll live as long as you."<p>

"I never knew that. I'd be a vampire?"

"No. Just me. You'll no longer be mortal, though. You won't age into an old bag."

Wiillow pulled her chin up, baring her neck to Spike. "Not too hard."

Spike went half game face and slid his fangs into her neck as gently as he could manage. The pain he expected to explode in his brain, pain from the chip for feeding on a human, did not come. That felt right, because this wasn't harm. This was love. He licked Willow's sweet blood and withdrew.

"All finished. Willow, I claim you. You are mine. Mine."

"Yours." Willow breathed. She let her face fall to Spike's neck.

"A little harder, Luv," Spike urged. "Gotta get some blood, now."

Willow's teeth worried at Spike's resilient skin.

"No fair, you have fangs. All I have are these little chicklets."

"Put your jaw muscles into it, my darling. Pretend it's a chocolate bar."

"Hersheys?"

"Whatever."

"Hersheys isn't tough. A Payday is real chewy."

"I'm your barming payday then. Give it a go."

Willow growled hungrily and chewed.

"Ow," Spike grinned. "It's true what they say about redheads."

She lapped tenderly at the little tear her teeth made. "Mine," she whispered, and moved back.

Spike kissed her mouth firmly. "Yours, Willow. I'm yours forever."

_**The end... For now.**_

**Review for a sequel**


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